SCP-035

This artifact enters the battlefield under no
player's control (This artifact has no controller).
At the beginning of each upkeep, if SCP-035 is unequipped, equip it to a random creature. Then,
untap equipped creature and it attacks that player.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 and fading X,
where X is the number of players. (Remove a fade counter on each players upkeep.)
Object Class: Keter [Sentient being]