Scumbag Rudy

{2}:Give target opponent a Golden Floppy Taco and choose 3 nonland permanents they control, then that player chooses Near Mint, Lightly Played, or Heavily Played, for each card. Each card must be different. They are the chosen condition until end of turn.
{3}: Choose one; Gain control of target Near Mint card; Shuffle target Lightly Played card into your library; Exile target Heavily Played card.