Sensei Brock, FSA

+1: Create a 1/1 red blue actuary intern token with "When this creature dies, put an insurance counter on target permanent you control.".
-2: Deal X damage to target creature where X is 10 times the quantile of a number randomly chosen from a standard normal distribution, rounded down.
-6: Put an insurance counter on each permanent you control. (When an insurance counter is removed you may draw up to 3 cards.)