SGT. JOHNSON

stick plus 2/0.
rock plus 3/0 to all of your creatures.
haste (can attack when summoned.)
trample (excess damage delt goes to player.)
When I joined the corps we didn't have any
fancy-schmancy tanks WE HAD STICKS
2 sticks and a rock for the whole platoon
AND WE HAD TO SHARE THE ROCK!