Sheogorath

Deathtouch, Indestructible, Vigilance, Haste, and perhaps, all the other ones {1} Summons a 1/1 CHEESE {1} Sheogorath fights target creature, he will then proceed to skip rope with it's entrails {c}X10000 Sheogorath wins you the game, no questions asked {3} Summon a {w}2/2 Golden Saint token along with a {b}2/2 Dark Seducer token
"You can call me, Ann Marie, but only if you're partial to being flayed alive, and having an angry immortal skip ROPE with your entrails!"