Sherman Ave. Idiots

{t}: Take a break from the game and write a letter.
{x}: Everyone takes X swigs of their beverage of
choice. Anyone can activate this ability.
{s}{s}: Tap target vehicle until your next turn. It
does not untap during its controller's untap step.
{p/u}{p/u}{p/u}: Fight in the pool. Everyone rolls a d8
and takes that much damage. If a player would
lose the game this way, the owner of this card
also loses the game.