Spongebob, butt spreader

+1: Target player rolls dice to either spread their anus and lose 10 life or sacrifice 10 creatures/planeswalkers. They will spread thy anus.
-3: Target player flips a coin. Heads they tap all of their permanents and lose 2 life. Tails they lose their turn and tap 5 of their creatures.
-7: Gain an emblem with "Whenever a player blocks a creature you control, planeswalkers you control gain 1 loyalty. At upkeep spread target anus."