Stue, Principle Principal

+1: Make a passive-aggressive comment to target player. Prevent half of the combat damage done by that opponent next turn, rounded down.
-3: Tell target player a fact you don't think he or she already knows. Scry 3, then draw a card.
-8: Randomly generate a word. Tell as much about that word as you can. Draw 8 cards, gain 8 life and add 8 colorless mana to your mana pool.