Susie

First Strike
After each of your Upkeeps, choose one of the following:
• Put a +1/+0 counter on Susie for one turn. Susie becomes Goaded for one turn.
• {x}: Put a +0/+X counter on any creature you control for one turn, where X is equal to the amount of mana spent minus 2

“Let me tell you a secret…*SLAM*…quiet people PISS ME OFF”