The Gunstin Yætes

{t}{x}{w}: Target player is forced to read {x} of
Pebbles' discord status(es).
{t}{x}{u}: Target play is forced to listen to Starset
nightcore for {x} turns.
{t}{x}{b}: Target creature or player is shot {x} times
by Gunstin. Each hit deals 3 damage.
{t}{x}{r}: Target player is forced to join the
/r/Starset Discord Server for {x} days.
{t}{x}{g}: Target basic land is exiled. The Pipe is pleased. You gain 7 life.