THE WABBAJACK!

{4} Equip, When equipped creature enters combat, roll a D6 if you roll a 1, tap target creature, if you roll a 2, target creature becomes a 1/1 CHEESE token, 3 target player or creature takes 5 damage, 4 target creature becomes a 5/5 with indestructible, 5 you take 5 damage, 6 you gain 5 life
"You could use your swords and you spells and your shouts and the like, or. . . you could use. . . THE WABBAJACK! Huh? Huh?? Didn't see that coming, did you?"-Sheogorath