Time Blindness

Enchant player

Enchanted player is caught in a temporal paradox, in which everything slows to an excruciating crawl, yet also slips suddenly and inexorably away

This enchantment can only be removed by casting Ritalin, or by fixating all day on 'that thing you have to do later'

"Why am I always just slightly late to absolutely everything?" - Sun Tzu, probably