Tommy Wiseau

^
| "Why my card has no abilities? Why? I wanted
| it to have deathtouch, shadow, and trample! I
| wish I could make this flavor text into the rules
| text... Wait, that's a great idea!" - Tommy Wiseau
|
(This creature has deathtouch, trample, and shadow.
A creature with shadow can block or be blocked by
only creatures with shadow.)