Waifu Dispensary

Once per turn whenever a player commits a crime,
each other player creates a 1/1 waifu token. At the beginning of each player's upkeep thar player puts a
+1/+1 counter on a waifu they control equal to the
number of waifus on the battlefield.

{9}: Untap all waifus and gain control of them until
end of turn. They gain haste until end of turn