Wandering Doom Lady

Spend only black mana or life points on {x}. When Wandering Doom Lady enters the battlefield, she gains {x}+1/+1 counters.

Whenever Wandering Doom Lady attacks, you may pull down your pants to reveal an erect penis and then fuck
Doom lady's tits. You may also have her suck your penis. If you do either, Wandering Doom Lady gets +1/+1 . You may also blow your load on her. If you do, Wandering Doom Lady gets lifelink until end of turn.