We're So Back / It's So Over

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose one option that was not chosen last turn:

•We're So Back: Gain 1 life, draw a card, return a card from your graveyard to your hand, and put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

• It's So Over: Lose 3 life, discard a card, tap a land and a creature you control, and punch yourself in the dick.