Whatch-a-mcguffin

{g}{w}{t}: Prevent all combat damage that
would be dealt this turn.
{r}{g}{1}{t}: Destroy target noncreature permanent.
{w}{r}{2}{t}: Gain one life for each damage dealt to a
player this turn by creatures you control.
{w}{r}{g}{3}{t}: Creatures you control gain +3/+0,
First Strike, and Trample until end of turn.

"Shut up Ian! I'm going for the record!"