Zhuangzi, Useless Sage

Substance. Whenever you tap this creature,
you and creatures you control take 2 damage.
{t}: Remove two blocking creatures an opponent controls from combat. Then, each creature blocks all creatures that the other was blocking.
{b}: Discard your hand.
{1}{r}{g}: Discard a card at random. If that card was a creature, you may play it without paying its mana cost, unless an opponent pays 5 life.
{w}: Create a 1/3 leech token with "White spells you play cost {w} more to play".