Duck Tape

At the beginning of your upkeep, put a Tape counter on Duck Tape. For each Tape counter on Duck Tape, creatures you control gain +0/+1.
Gotcha - Whenever an opponent taps an artifact or artifact creature they control, you may say "Gotcha!". If you do, return Duck Tape from your graveyard to the battlefield under your control.
If Duct Tape didn't fix it; you didn't use enough.