Kenji, the Kreator

Eminence — As long as Kenji is in the command zone or
on the battlefield, if another player misses a trigger or asks a stupid question, tap target non-land permanent and then untap target permanent.

First strike, vigilance

{t}: Exile target instant or sorcery with mana value X or less from a graveyard, where X is the number of beers Pierce Hawthorne has had this game. As long as Kenji is on the battlefield, you may pay 3 life to cast that spell with out paying its mana cost, then remove t